Lent Post #25: I AM (A Birthday Poem)

Birthday Cheese

I wrote this piece for a very good friend of mine for her birthday. I thought I’d share it in preparation for the coming year.

She opens her eyes and greets the sun with a warm smile.
Remembering the previous day’s labors and spent miles.
She rushes off to do the day to day, and never forgets to says the things she needs to say.
Because a happy life is lead when all is said and done,
Deep inside she’s thankful and surrounds herself with those who reminds her she’s not the only one.
She glides into a room, with golden hair aglow.
And when you look into her eyes of deep ocean blue,
You see, she’s the sweetest one you’ll know.
For today, we celebrate the day that she declared herself:
I am!
The changes that I want to see in the world!
I am!
More than just your typical girl!
I am!
I am smart, Wise beyond my years!
I am!
Because I have to fight back to the flood of tears!
I am!
Tender and I am strong!
I am!
Not only your best friend, who will be there with you until the end.
I am!
Just that kind of person!
I am!
Amber.
Hear me breathe,
See me live,
Feel me love.

Lent Post #24: I Love You

I love you.
That’s all I wanted to say.
Before other words, thoughts and emotions get in my way.
Before the cultural construct of masculine and feminine interfere,
I have to tell you that because it’s something you need to hear.

Because often in our society,
Love is often associated with a certain kind of passion,
The certain result of a certain kind of sensual reaction.
If people always tell me there are different kinds of love.
But see, I vehemently disagree.
We tend to carve things up artificially,
Based on differences that add up to superficiality.
This is why we always end up wanting more,
Because we haven’t realized that love is all the same at its very core.
I want to hear you talk, not because of what will do later…
Maybe, but just because I enjoy the pleasure of your company.

I love you.
That’s all I wanted to say.
Before other words, thoughts and emotions get in my way
I love you.
Thanks for getting me here,
For helping me work through all the trouble, and the fear.
I love you

Lent Post #23: Currents

Image of river with subtle currents

Currents, like the rivers flow,
Sometimes visible, and at times more like an undertow.
The one who swims upstream will tire,
The swimmer’s heart, like a candle in the rain,
All of life’s trials, and all of life’s pain,
Will eventually cause that beating heart to lose its fire.
The river dweller feels the currents without and within,
And he swims with them such that his flame does not dim.
He matches his stride,
Feeling the spirit of life’s river,
In him does confide.
Currents, like the rivers flow,
Sometimes visible, and at times more like an undertow.
Either way, the river dweller knows,
how to navigate life’s currents,
Even understanding the undertow.

Lent Post #22: Trapped In Creation

Image of imprisoned person

Sometimes, I feel like I can’t write.
Trapped under the weight of potentiality,
Without having a way to move forward.
Ideas run through my head like a river
Without a controlled flow.
Overwhelmed, nearly drowning in my own mental construct.
Cage made of infinity,
I am its prisoner.
I break free to find,
That many hours have passed,
Far too much time.
The words are spilled like blood,
A Picture painted upon the canvas of your reality, and mine.
At the same time, it doesn’t feel real.

Sometimes, I feel like I can’t write.
Bearing the yoke of expectation,
While carrying the burden of modest success upon my back,
Wondering: can I do it again?
I’m a creator,
But I’m trapped in creation.
Sometimes bound by the things I’ve done before,
Wondering if this is the end of my creative life,
If I should tally up my score.
I wonder of their other creators too,
Who are trapped in creation,
Who are beasts of burden,
Bearing the yoke of modest success,
Sometimes bound by the things they’ve done before,
Who spill their blood on the canvas of their work,
All to merge their reality with mine,
Because then, maybe we will be creators,
No longer trapped in creation.

Lent Post #21: Time

Image of Father time

They say that time heals all wounds
But sometimes it just gives people
More opportunities to pour salt onto them
And then there are times
That living a crazy life will lead you to insanity
But I know that there are times
That living in a box called sanity
Will drive a motherfucker crazy
The purpose of the old adage
Is to put supposed conventional wisdom
Into a neatly composed package
Handed down from generation to generation
To whisper in your ear, “this is how you live a good life”
Empty advice from people who live
Within the confines of their own stupidity
Your elders angry at you because you can’t see the point
Of their staunch rigidity
They’ve lived lives of course
Done everything they thought they were supposed to
But sometimes all they leave you
Is a box full of empty words and broken promises
One marked time and the other sanity
You look at them dazed and confused
Filled with nothing but profundity
They say that time heals all wounds
But I’m here to tell you
That it only does so if you have the courage
To blaze a trail
And to never be afraid to fail
Then and only then time
Will do two things for you
It will grant you the wisdom of the ages
And it will grant you the wisdom
To write your story
On these humble empty pages.

Lent Post #20: I’m Not A Revolutionary

I’m not a revolutionary,
I don’t like pointless endless circles,
Of action leading to inaction, it never learns.
I’m not a figurehead
To a new wave of thought
I am not a figurehead
Or the next step in social evolution for my “kind?”
Whatever that means.
I used to say that I was nothing special,
I’m not that either…
Nor am I special.

But don’t mistake my humility
For a negative opinion of myself.
Because I’ve crawled through the muck and the slime,
I have waded through the darkness of my own mind.
There’s not a damn thing you can tell me
About myself that I don’t already know,
That I haven’t turned to examine from all angles…
And that eventually,
I haven’t also learned to love
And treat with the same kindness that others have shown me
When I failed to love myself.
I might be just a little bit brilliant
But never so blinded by my own light.,
That I will fail to see yours.
I might be just a little bit insecure, but who isn’t?
I might make you smile
With a self-deprecating comment,
But that is because I’ve learned
That It’s better to occasionally
Remind yourself of your faults,
To keep yourself kinder to those around you.

I am a fiery soul who makes no apologies
For burning with the utmost intensity
But most of all I’m the one
Who will remind you to do all things
With the purest of love and passion.
Because I’ve learned that when you do that,
Failure isn’t even a blip on the radar of life.
That is what I am.

Lent Post #19: The Segregated Mind

Segregated Fountains

The segregated mind
Is a mind that constantly lives in bondage
It is a slave to its own thinking
It will constantly turn down any opportunity for freedom
Because it cannot see
For it is blinded by its own rage
And its petulant tantrums
It is a mind that sees everyone else
As different from itself
Failing to recognize the common slavery of humanity
Whether from 400 years of slavery
With blood running down the backs
Of the men and women who built this country
Or the 300 years of colonization
That taught my ancestors
That the darker you were
The more imperfect your soul must have been
The slave masters have been driven underground
And the colonizers are dead and buried
But their legacy to us
Is thriving and more fruitful
Than we would care to admit
Everytime we say, “It’s not my problem,”
Or “I didn’t know her”
It is another lash
Another torture
Another drop of blood spilled to the ground
This is the legacy
The segregated mind
It is the continuance of slavery and colonization
And it will continue to persist
As long as we refuse our commonality
Our humanity
As long as we remain a slave to ourselves
Placed in bondage by our thoughts
We will never be free