Chess Reflecting Life

I was doing some Chessmaster tutorials yesterday, and it taught me something. I grew up in a way where manipulation was the only way that I could get what I thought I needed from people outside the family, and sometimes inside. Not because my childhood was extraordinarily traumatic, or because there’s anyone to blame in my estimation, but because my upbringing but socially strict. I wasn’t really allowed to have friends over, almost ever. So, in order to maintain relatively normal looking social relationships when I was at school, I learned to keep people at arms length through some tools of social engineering, let’s call them.
Because of having to do that, I feel guilty now, so in chess, I am afraid to sacrifice a piece to get a better position because there is a strong fear of needing any piece later on. This reflects how I have sincere people leaving me when I need support the most.  I didn’t know it got that deep inside of me. It’s interesting how a game can often elucidated things outside it’s Amelia domain. I’ll never be a Chessmaster, but I will always love the game, for the puzzles, but also for the lessons.


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