The Only Way Out?

Jessica Youmans – Rest in peace

Suicides bother me…  Endlessly. I know what it’s like, I’ve been horribly suicidal. I’m still here, and happy to be, but I have a pretty good grasp on how it feels to think that ending life is the simplest solution. Jessica, I didn’t know you, but whoever you were, and wherever you are, I love you, and rest in peace.  Originally posted here:

 

My beautiful friend Jessica Youmans took her life and is no longer with us and I’m absolutely completely shattered.

So many judged her by her appearance and as a plus size woman – the second I met Jess I felt instantly akin to her. I couldn’t place it, her energy was that of someone who didn’t look like the person I was staring at. I was in true awe of her physical beauty, but also her inner beauty as you could actually FEEL her caring soul as she gave pure genuine love to everyone she met….but she didn’t give it to herself.

To ANYONE who thinks that just because someone is beautiful and has every physical perfection DOES NOT mean they aren’t allowed to have problems and pain and talk about them. I can’t even imagine the pressure it must have been to be Jess on the daily and I truly think that she felt she COULDN’T and wasn’t allowed to feel or have pain because afterall, she had the perfect outside that so many are told they must have to be happy. What happens when we pigeon hole someone into this perfect cube and tell them daily they have it all? They feel they can’t escape it. They feel they aren’t allowed the human experience of pain.
Never ever assume that person next to you who you THINK has it all has nothing to complain about, because that is the worst mistake of them all – they are human just like you.

Rest in peace my love heart emoticon These tears are because I’m sorry you felt no other way out of your pain.

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3 thoughts on “The Only Way Out?

  1. My heart goes out to you and Jessica. There is something very wrong when we live in a world where to solve one’s heart break, the cry of an aching heart is only answered by the echo of the cry.

    1. Thank you so much! I completely agree, all to often, people don’t hear the call in time. I’m hoping sometime soon to be able to turn my poetic and narrative skills toward exploring this issue more closely. Again, thank you for reading, and for your heartfelt comment.

  2. There are a lot of “perfect” people who kill themselves. Too much pressure and dependence on physical attributes, I think is part of it. So many layers of many types of pain build up before a suicide takes place. Maybe one day we will learn to recognize it before it’s too late. It is very sad.

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