The Masked Elf with Autism: A Gimpy Monologue

By Joseph Casarez

Autism- it’s one of those invisible “conditions” and one that I live with.  Integrating into the social world took time and practice, but eventually that mask falls apart.  Family, friends and co-workers who do not know the true self behind the mask, experience the consequences.  There have been wounded friendships, hurt family members and puzzled colleagues and it can lead to some hard thinking and finding ways to repair and heal those relationships.  Here is a poem from one of agony.


People would be better off

If the chains that bind me to them

are melted by venom

They should leave

this vigilant elf that

injects an episode of pleasure

Into their lives

and the next day

his face changes

and it’s not the same joker

He is instead a vindictive broker

gambling with the emotions

of his trusted friends and

close family

and they are all affected

by his disease of the mind

It would be better if they simply

left the wild, depressing little elf.


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