Hey everyone this is Joey from the blog “A Perverse Fraction” and I have written something that shows the pain of dealing with a learning disability that causes language impairment.
Did I lose something in translation? I have the images in my head; their clear, crisp, my inner eye looks upon a mountain of castles that resemble the world of Tolkien. But, I have no drawing skills and no painting skills. I can only write and describe what I see and what I feel, smell, touch, or hear; however, would it be tragic to say that my only form of creative expression is hampered by a mental malfunction, where words are in the wrong place or some words don’t make it onto the page? The words are not part of a flowing ocean, but are instead imprisoned in an imagined Alcatraz; they argue and fight amongst themselves about which one will make it out. It’s chaos that makes my hands shake at the keyboard or cause a pause in my speech; a word just won’t escape out of its cell and then the writing factory in my brain goes into lockdown.
It takes time to find the keys to activate the creation mill again and each second feeds frustration; frustration that I’m not built for the writing, that language of any kind is forever out of my grasp. Nuance, rhyme, diction, I understand them intellectually, but it seems that connecting words into sentences and sentences into paragraphs to a fully fleshed story is more a harsh climb up Mount Doom than a journey to the Land of Oz; one is rocky and filled with terrifying storm clouds and the other, while not without its tribulations, is far less hazardous.
You may think that I don’t have some type of language impairment, but let me tell you that this took significant forethought and planning, not the spontaneous flow of words that may come easily to some. Instead, the images I see in my mind are left alone and they are locked away with words that can’t see their way through Alcatraz.