How am I supposed to feel? You’ve taken the time to flatter me with platitudes, telling me that I’m one of the greatest guys you’ve ever met… And yet you can’t be with me? The old saying that if you love something you should let it go, and if it was meant to be there it will return is complete garbage. It’s just an excuse for people to romanticize the act of leaving another person without cause. The one thing that jumped out at me in your letter was your plead not to think that it had anything to do with my disability. It’s sort of reminded me of those cartoons I used to watch when I was a little boy, the main character would usually be told, “don’t push the red button!” And usually, the character pushes the button. Can you tell me what I did wrong? Saying that you just can’t isn’t an explanation, and it’s not fair! What we had, I thought it was special. I thought you were special… Forget that, you still are special to me. But when you say things like “please don’t think it’s because of your wheelchair,” what am I supposed to think? I never used to be a believer in statistics, but a few years ago they did a study in the UK, and found that only one in eight people were willing to consider a person with a physical disability as a viable mate… A life partner. What does that say about me? Now that I’m just a statistic. Carrie, do you have any idea how difficult it is to find yourself attractive when no matter what you do people always stare at you as though you don’t belong there? Or maybe you do know how that feels, maybe you’ve seen it when we were together… And if that’s the case… I understand, and I am truly sorry
I hope that one day we will be able to talk about this like two adults, two people who love and respect one another. But for now, all I need you to know is that while I may be angry here, in this moment, it won’t always be that way. They say that when we look up at the sky, at the light given to us as a gift from the heavens, we’re looking at the star as it was about 40 years in the past, and still that light from so long ago shines for us today, and that’s how I will think of you. My bright star from the distant past whose light still shines to light the way amidst the chaos. And I hope that a part of the love we shared together remains with you and that I too will be a star for you.
Love always and forever,