What’s So Inspiring About This? A Gimpy Monologue

Gatorade Rain bottles lined up on a supermarke...

 

I woke up this morning with a stiff neck, I figured it was no big deal, it happens. Then I rolled out of bed, and my back went stiff. A pulsating pain began to take control of my body. It took me 45 minutes to drag myself 10 feet to the toile, t only to find out that despite the fact that my body felt like it had gone through a two-hour workout and the pain hadn’t dissipated, that I couldn’t even stand up to take a simple piss. Couldn’t lift my head, and I sure as hell couldn’t straighten my back. I’m guessing you can understand how hard it is to stand when you can’t do either one of those two things. People are always telling me that I inspire them because I’ve overcome such adversity.

Do you think it’s inspiring to be on the floor for 45 minutes writhing in pain?

Do you think it’s inspiring to have to be half naked in front of your roommate and ask them to hand you a Gatorade bottle to piss in?

Do you think it’s inspiring that on days like this, when mind over matter is a concept that is continually proven wrong, but I wish I were dead just so I wouldn’t be in pain?

Do you think it’s inspiring that I couldn’t even take a shower this morning?

 

Let me guess, you think it’s inspiring that despite all of that I could still have a sunny disposition… Guess again. If you took the mask off and all you were left with was the realization that my body is not servant of my mind, but a prison. Coupled with everything I just said… I have a question for you, what’s so inspiring about this?

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