That’s part of the dream, isn’t it? To find someone to love, love you back. Everyone wants someone with whom they can share their life, their joys, tears and fears. That’s what I thought I found, and that’s what I was hoping to leave with when I went to dinner that night. Her name was Felicia, she was awesome. She was gorgeous, artistic, super intelligent, is one of the most passionate and compassionate people I’d ever met. Her and I had been dating for about three or four years. We were young… And like all young people, we were pretty dumb too, in retrospect. But we were in love. I had a plan, I was going to go to her house for dinner, ask her parents for their blessing in my intent to marry their lovely daughter, and then I would tell my family… And it didn’t really matter what any of them said, Bam! We’d be married, just like that… That was the plan.
That wasn’t how it ended up though. It was a normal enough dinner, until I told her parents that I wanted to marry her. Then they muttered a bunch of angry things in a language I could not understand, she spoke mien. But anyone with half decent intuition can sense the angry, right? Then, everyone switch back to English. Her father said, “you’re such a nice boy, and you’ve done a lot for our daughter. I like you, I really do… What do you expect to do for her? You’re only half a man… Maybe if your whole…”I thought to choke back the tears that welled up in my eyes… I said, ”with all due respect sir, I’ve been with her daughter for a while now, and I’m sure you can tell that we love each other. Besides that, I don’t think a person should be defined solely by the piece of metal that happens to be strapped to their ass with wheels on it.” Oh shit, I’ve screwed up big time now. The words that came out of his mouth surprised me. “You stand up for yourself; I like that in a man, and in a son-in-law. Felicia’s face was filled with happiness that one rarely ever sees on another human being, except maybe on a mother right after she gives birth. We did it…
Dinner had wrapped up quite nicely I thought. I kissed my newly minted fiancé, and decided to head home. The next morning, my heart shattered into 1000 pieces she called me and told me she was moving to pursue her “modeling career” at least that’s what her parents told her, the truth was they moved across the country to keep her from being with the “half man.” She tried calling me a handful of times after that day, we then had sex when she “decided” she couldn’t take living away from me anymore. But in the end, I guess she couldn’t take the rejection of her parents, because I never saw her again… They moved here 2,00 miles east to keep her away from me… I guess a good half man wasn’t better than a broken “whole” one. It’s hard enough as it is to find love in the world that teaches us to be shallow, but it’s even harder when you’re twice as wide and the reason you’re twice as wide is made of metal.
And one more thing, my family never knew… I never got the chance to tell them, so they also never knew how broken I was. Do yourself a favor and remove the word secret from their vocabulary, secrets destroy lives, even if it is only around in some cases.