Sorry Guys! What Now?

St. Augustine writing, revising, and re-writin...
St. Augustine writing, revising, and re-writing: Sandro Botticelli’s St. Augustine in His Cell (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey guys, I know it’s been a while. I’m really sorry for that, that apology is not only meant for you but myself as well. During my time away from the blog world, I’ve had to do a lot of re-examination. I’ve learned a lot from that, and I’d like to share a couple of my insights with you guys, and tell you all what I plan on doing from here on out. I’ve had to deal a lot with death recently, and it’s affected the way that I think about a lot of different things. It’s made me realize how many truly superficial relationships I’ve maintained throughout the years, rather needlessly at that. It’s shown me that when you really need the people you think about you the most, about only half of them will be there, but all of them will have an opinion on what you should do with your life. Losing someone I cared for so deeply, probably one of the few mentors who is actually a mentor in the truest sense of the word, and my reflection upon his life, essentially taught me that I don’t have time for bullshit. None of us do, but a lot of us put up with a surprising amount of it. I’ve discovered that it is more important to maintain strong personal relationships even if they are few, rather than to begin a huge number of superficial ones.

The next thing I learned had to do with my writing. For the longest time, I have felt myself begin to drift artistically, becoming formulaic and depending on the advice of others rather than understanding one basic truth about the craft. No one writes the same, there isn’t one writer out there that everyone loves, so the large majority of other people’s stylistic advice is utter garbage. I’ve discovered that I need to go back to writing like me, to me that I know best. If people truly like what I have to say, then it won’t matter if I break a few literary conventions or let a bit of my semi-foulmouthed nature come to light.

Next is what I intend on doing, that’s kind of hard to set this point. I do want to continue my work having to do a disability awareness, but I don’t want that to be the only thing I’m known for. I don’t want to be the guy in the wheelchair that writes about being a guy in a wheelchair. If I did that, I’d definitely be selling myself short. I have a lot to say, and it goes beyond my disability. I’ve only ever been published twice, and had my work stolen once and publish under another name. And only one of those times was it ever important to me I wish I could tell you guys how much disability awareness work I’d be putting up, how many short stories I’d be writing, and how much of this blog would consist of poetry from here on out. The truth is though, I can’t. What I can tell you however, is that I’m going to start with a few reflections on grief. And they’re going to start with a couple of things that I’ve already written for people that I’ve lost in my life. And the rest of it will probably take the form of poetry, though I can’t say that with complete certainty. I hope you all will join me on this journey of rediscovery, and I hope you enjoy it and I hope I do too.

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