Lent Post #23: Currents

Image of river with subtle currents

Currents, like the rivers flow,
Sometimes visible, and at times more like an undertow.
The one who swims upstream will tire,
The swimmer’s heart, like a candle in the rain,
All of life’s trials, and all of life’s pain,
Will eventually cause that beating heart to lose its fire.
The river dweller feels the currents without and within,
And he swims with them such that his flame does not dim.
He matches his stride,
Feeling the spirit of life’s river,
In him does confide.
Currents, like the rivers flow,
Sometimes visible, and at times more like an undertow.
Either way, the river dweller knows,
how to navigate life’s currents,
Even understanding the undertow.

Lent Post #22: Trapped In Creation

Image of imprisoned person

Sometimes, I feel like I can’t write.
Trapped under the weight of potentiality,
Without having a way to move forward.
Ideas run through my head like a river
Without a controlled flow.
Overwhelmed, nearly drowning in my own mental construct.
Cage made of infinity,
I am its prisoner.
I break free to find,
That many hours have passed,
Far too much time.
The words are spilled like blood,
A Picture painted upon the canvas of your reality, and mine.
At the same time, it doesn’t feel real.

Sometimes, I feel like I can’t write.
Bearing the yoke of expectation,
While carrying the burden of modest success upon my back,
Wondering: can I do it again?
I’m a creator,
But I’m trapped in creation.
Sometimes bound by the things I’ve done before,
Wondering if this is the end of my creative life,
If I should tally up my score.
I wonder of their other creators too,
Who are trapped in creation,
Who are beasts of burden,
Bearing the yoke of modest success,
Sometimes bound by the things they’ve done before,
Who spill their blood on the canvas of their work,
All to merge their reality with mine,
Because then, maybe we will be creators,
No longer trapped in creation.

Lent Post #21: Time

Image of Father time

They say that time heals all wounds
But sometimes it just gives people
More opportunities to pour salt onto them
And then there are times
That living a crazy life will lead you to insanity
But I know that there are times
That living in a box called sanity
Will drive a motherfucker crazy
The purpose of the old adage
Is to put supposed conventional wisdom
Into a neatly composed package
Handed down from generation to generation
To whisper in your ear, “this is how you live a good life”
Empty advice from people who live
Within the confines of their own stupidity
Your elders angry at you because you can’t see the point
Of their staunch rigidity
They’ve lived lives of course
Done everything they thought they were supposed to
But sometimes all they leave you
Is a box full of empty words and broken promises
One marked time and the other sanity
You look at them dazed and confused
Filled with nothing but profundity
They say that time heals all wounds
But I’m here to tell you
That it only does so if you have the courage
To blaze a trail
And to never be afraid to fail
Then and only then time
Will do two things for you
It will grant you the wisdom of the ages
And it will grant you the wisdom
To write your story
On these humble empty pages.

Lent Post #20: I’m Not A Revolutionary

I’m not a revolutionary,
I don’t like pointless endless circles,
Of action leading to inaction, it never learns.
I’m not a figurehead
To a new wave of thought
I am not a figurehead
Or the next step in social evolution for my “kind?”
Whatever that means.
I used to say that I was nothing special,
I’m not that either…
Nor am I special.

But don’t mistake my humility
For a negative opinion of myself.
Because I’ve crawled through the muck and the slime,
I have waded through the darkness of my own mind.
There’s not a damn thing you can tell me
About myself that I don’t already know,
That I haven’t turned to examine from all angles…
And that eventually,
I haven’t also learned to love
And treat with the same kindness that others have shown me
When I failed to love myself.
I might be just a little bit brilliant
But never so blinded by my own light.,
That I will fail to see yours.
I might be just a little bit insecure, but who isn’t?
I might make you smile
With a self-deprecating comment,
But that is because I’ve learned
That It’s better to occasionally
Remind yourself of your faults,
To keep yourself kinder to those around you.

I am a fiery soul who makes no apologies
For burning with the utmost intensity
But most of all I’m the one
Who will remind you to do all things
With the purest of love and passion.
Because I’ve learned that when you do that,
Failure isn’t even a blip on the radar of life.
That is what I am.

Lent Post #19: The Segregated Mind

Segregated Fountains

The segregated mind
Is a mind that constantly lives in bondage
It is a slave to its own thinking
It will constantly turn down any opportunity for freedom
Because it cannot see
For it is blinded by its own rage
And its petulant tantrums
It is a mind that sees everyone else
As different from itself
Failing to recognize the common slavery of humanity
Whether from 400 years of slavery
With blood running down the backs
Of the men and women who built this country
Or the 300 years of colonization
That taught my ancestors
That the darker you were
The more imperfect your soul must have been
The slave masters have been driven underground
And the colonizers are dead and buried
But their legacy to us
Is thriving and more fruitful
Than we would care to admit
Everytime we say, “It’s not my problem,”
Or “I didn’t know her”
It is another lash
Another torture
Another drop of blood spilled to the ground
This is the legacy
The segregated mind
It is the continuance of slavery and colonization
And it will continue to persist
As long as we refuse our commonality
Our humanity
As long as we remain a slave to ourselves
Placed in bondage by our thoughts
We will never be free

Lent Post #18: A Tribute to Tyler

Image of Tyler

I’ve had a lot of friends pass away from accidents, struggles with depression, violence, and some mysterious circumstances… This past Christmas, I lost someone I considered which you might call an extended little brother, brother by choice rather than birth. His name was Tyler. He was one of the few people for whom I did not have to modify the way I speak in order to be clearly understood, and I most certainly didn’t have to dumb myself down at all. My younger brother, Tyler, and I went on many adventures. But all I have left are the memories that we shared. I don’t know what to call this piece, primarily because writing and now… So for now, A Tribute to Tyler.

Words need not be decoded,
Between us, sentences can be broken,
Hardly a word need be spoken.
The psychedelic, kaleidoscopic nature of our minds,
Always made it so that we were thinking along the same lines.
A will as strong as steel is what you had,
A heart bigger than the world in which we live
Made it so that you could hardly do anything bad.
I wish that you were here so that I can tell you,
that life is merely a wild, hectic ride no matter what you do.
And with a quiet strength, you ruled yourself with a gentle hand,
Always mentally prepared for the task at hand.

Your strength and power came from that of same heart,
Sometimes even the best of us need from time to time to fall apart.
Rebuild, restructure, and reconvene,
And continue asking the questions about the meaning of life.
What is it all mean?
Your future burned bright,
Like a nuclear candle.
There isn’t a damn thing in the universe you couldn’t handle.
A mind and heart as strong as crucible steel.
Yet somehow, you still allowed yourself very much to feel.

My world won’t be the same without you in it,
So many ideas that run through my mind,
Now all of that, I don’t even know where to begin it.
I look forward to all of the trials I’d help usher you through,
now there are days that I just don’t know what to do.

I wrote this piece the way I did for your love of rhyme,
Just so I could say this isn’t goodbye, brother…
But until next time.

I love you and miss you, dude. I don’t know what life has planned for me, but if there is some sort of afterlife, I hope to see you again.

Lent Post #17: Code of the Samurai

Bushido Kanji

Justice!
Courage!
Benevolence!
Courtesy!
Honesty and sincerity
Honor!
Loyalty!
Self-control!
These are the virtues I live by,
Or at the very least I humbly try.
But sometimes it’s harder than you might think.
Now listen carefully, don’t even blink!
Because you see these virtues became twisted in my heart,
To the point that they nearly tore me apart.
Wrapped in this cloak, I wore a shield of anger.
It was to protect you from my sadness…
I wanted to push you away,
So I could stay true to the code.
Never letting anyone into my sacred abode.
I thought it was to protect me from you,
But it was to protect you from me.
I never ever wanted you to see,
The mangled mess that you called me.
I wanted you to think I was an angel with wings to fly!
With uncanny abilities that no one can deny…
I wanted to think of myself in the following way,
Now sit back and take an earful and hear me say:
“Some days, some nights.
Some live, some die.
In the way of the samurai.
Some fight, some bleed.
Sun up to sun down.
The sons of the battle cry!”
But I see now that was just a mask,
A shiny veneer,
All to keep myself from looking in the mirror,
But now I know what it all means…
So that before I die,
I can truly say,
That I lived by the code of the samurai…